Fine

You will be fine.

We always forget that. In the midst of finals, summer, break ups, moving, in the midst of change.We forget we will be fine. It's a typical young adult thing. Failing a class is the end of the world, your boyfriend, the one that was "the one", breaks up with you and you are destined to be alone forever, right? Well obviously this is wrong.

We think the end of the world can approach so quickly and come from such minor things. You don't marry your significant other from junior year of high school, or hell even your junior year of college. You will fail test, you will move, you will leave behind the people that meant more to you than anything else at that moment. And you know what? The world keeps spinning. I'm not trying to say these events don't matter, that they don't hurt, because they do. In two weeks we leave for summer, in two weeks I'm a junior and no longer living with my best friend. For three months we will all be scattered around the Midwest and will actually have to make an effort to see each other, but it isn't the end of the world. I'm nervous about a lot of things this summer, a few in particular that are really nerve racking, but you know what if it all falls through, it isn't the end of the world. It will hurt, just like things always do when they don't work out but  I'll be fine & so will you.

There are few things that actually will produce the end of the world such as a huge meteor for example, all the water disappears, we run out of food, things like that, but until then breathe because guess what?

You will be fine.

Happy studying!

Elephants Never Forget

Growing up I never had an attachment to anything. My sister was obsessed with this doll and my brother to some pacifier. My attachment however grew as I got older to a stuffed elephant named Peanut that I received when I was five years old. This blog may make me seem childish, but I think it is important to realize the significance of objects in your life.
I love elephants. I have four in my room, Peanut, Nutty, Cashew and Almond (cleaver I know), and on my senior trip to the zoo in St. Louis, I refused to leave until I saw the elephants despite the monsoon going on, and I was devastated when visiting the Des Moines zoo to find that they didn't have elephants at all. I sleep with Peanut every night. I find baby elephants adorable. But my obsession isn't just with their adorableness, but more of what the represent.
Elephants are a symbol of good luck in many cultures, they are some of the few animals that create "families" or herds and stick with them, and they are so emotionally invested in these families that many die from a broken heart. Well actually they die from starvation and dehydration. Typically after a member of the family dies, especially the babies, the mother, or another member, stays behind with the carcass to make sure that nothing devours it. Due to this devotion many die watching over the already deceased.
Elephants are loyal, lucky and loving. They obtain characteristics that as humans we should all strive to acquire. Plus their huge ears are just so darn precious. I know that my gang of elephants aren't real, I'm not some crazy childhood obsessed lady, but there are few things we carry through out life that can hold onto memories like that of a stuff animal or blanket. Peanut has been with me since my first sleepover to the first time I left the country; he was there on my first day on first grade, and my first day of college. I've used him to wipe my tears, I may have thrown him a few times out of anger, and he has taken stupid pictures with me and my roommate on photobooth. We all have something in our lives that isn't just what it appears to be, it holds value, it holds memories, it was something that reminds you of all the good days from passing a test to getting into college, and all the bad days of fights, break ups or failures. In a world where things change quickly, and nothing in life is permenant,  isn't it nice to have one thing that was there through it all?

"I said what I meant and I meant what I said, an elephants faithful one-hundred percent."

--Horton, Dr. Seuss

My Wish For You

I wish someone would tell you that the most important people in your life at this moment are not tied to you. No one ever will be. You can go through times of grief, happiness and anger together and then turn around one day and they will be gone. I wish someone would tell you that it isn't always something you did or didn't do. That it is completely normal, and okay, that you put everything you had into your friendship or relationship, intimate or otherwise, and one day it wasn't enough.

 I wish someone would tell you that it is okay to feel like you deserve more. Not just in romantic relationships, although that is okay too, but with jobs, with life. I wish someone would look you in the eye and tell you that when you lay in bed at night staring at the ceiling, thinking the same question over and over again "is this all there is?" that there is so much more. I wish someone would tell you that just because you are afraid to look for more doesn't mean that there isn't more. I wish someone would tell you that you are worth it.

I wish someone would tell you that you are beautiful, every moment of the day. From when you wake up in the morning to when you lay down in bed at night. When you are sick and pale, when you are crying and make up is streaming down your face. I wish people understood beauty in it's truest form. I wish someone would tell you that the make up you cake on in the mornings isn't necessary, neither is straightening your hair. I wish someone would teach you that beauty is skin deep, but most importantly I wish someone would show you they believe that.

I wish someone would tell you that you will never be prepared and that you should embrace that. Being prepared is overrated and by being prepared you miss out on so much of life, and I really wish someone would tell you that.  I wish someone would tell you that no relationship, no heartbreak, no death, no moment of sadness will ever be the same so you can't prepare. But I wish someone would also tell you that you are resilient and that while someone can bruise your heart, no one can bruise your spirit.

I wish someone would tell you that there is a difference between sex and love and that it is okay to separate them sometimes. I wish someone would tell you that your value is so much more than what a man or woman or society can place on you. At the same time I wish someone would tell you that you should never measure someone else's value.

I wish someone would tell you that there will be hard days. That memories can attach to buildings, to time, to weather, to a song. That these moments can come seeping in through windows, radios, and sneek into eye sight. I wish someone would tell you that there will be break downs in fabric stores, in grocery stores and at school. That sometimes you will have to hide your tears, or hide yourself. I wish someone would tell you that there is nothing weak or shameful in these moments.

I wish someone would tell you there are different kinds of love, there are different ways of falling in love, and love happens at a different rate every time. Love adapts as you do. Your love at 18 is different from your love at 20, and your love for some one will always grown, however sometimes disguised as hate. I wish someone, I wish that more than just one someone, would tell you that they love you.

I wish someone would tell you to live a simple life. To indulge in luxury, but at the same time to sew and cook. To clean your own windows, mow your own grass and paint your own living room. To pack lunches instead of buy lunchables and write notes in them every morning. I wish someone would tell you that a well timed hug or kiss will always heal you.

I wish someone would tell you these things because I wish someone had told me. You are beautiful, you are unique, you are human, but most importantly you are you.

& I wish someone had told me that all of that was okay, that all of that was always enough.