Butterflies

Earlier today I was talking to Brandon about how he still makes me nervous. Some may argue that this is a bad thing, that it shows I'm not comfortable around him, but I think it's quite the opposite. I rattled off one of the longest explanations to him, but I'll try to shorten it up for you guys. I see him and still get butterflies in my stomach, are you gagging yet? because it gets better. I always want to impress him, to not look like hell when I see him, and to always be fun, and I get nervous when I think he is bored. I always want to be the girl that is on his mind and the girl he tells his friends about and in relationships I think its healthy to be nervous. It gives the relationship a spark, it keeps you looking for new things to do, it keeps things exciting, by being nervous it is a reminder that nothing is a sure thing, the moment you stop being nervous you begin to look for something else.
Which is where my belief about jealousy comes from. I'm a jealous person, I get self conscious when Brandon says someone is hot, or when he spends more time with another girl, and I might be over jealous in many ways but I have always been in relationship where the guy tells me its wrong to be jealous. Now, lets not get jealousy confused with trust. I trust Brandon and know he wouldn't do anything, but it plays into always wanting to impress him and always wanting to be the girl on his mind. A little jealousy is good in a relationship, it is always nice to know someone is worried about losing you, even if there is no chance in hell they will.
I hope that there isn't a day in any relationship I have that I don't get jealous and that I don't get nervous. I hope the spark doesn't die and I hope the person I'm with wants the same thing.