Looking In The Rearview Mirror

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forward."

-- Soren Kierkegaard

In life it is important to look back on the events that have brought us to where we are in order to understand how we got there. In moments of tragedy and heartbreak we don't see how it might play out in the grand scheme of life, only how it affects us at that moment. As I move into my second semester of sophomore year I continuously feel older, probably because I am. But I'd like to take a moment and just think about the events that have happened since the begin of the year. 

I started wanting everything I'm glad I don't have now, weird how that works out. I started out with a job I hated, too many credit hours, and a 40 hour practicum for a major I wasn't even sure I wanted to do anymore. I was living in a dorm I hated with my best friends, and dreading a week when the only people I'd be with weren't that close to me. After two days of "polish week" I fell in love with the girls I was surrounded with and began spending all my time with them, and sometimes I wish we could still be at the house every night until midnight. My job got better and I fell in love with the kids, which made Mason going through chemotherapy a few weeks ago so much harder. I dropped a class and escaped with a 3.5, and fell in love with my practicum. I finally stopped being so afraid and applied for a position in my sorority and now am the proud social chair. So yes all the bad things turned into things I fell in love with. But like always, some of my expectations fell short. I worked so much I felt like I was missing out on a lot of things with my friends, I had to balance my sorority sisters with my dorm hall friends, and when it came to guys I was all over the board, in the same fraternity. I'd be lost without my family and roommate. Sarah endured me being pissed, stressed, crying and so many other things this semester without missing a beat, whether it was laying in bed with me while I cried or awkward pillow talk. But I've gained so many friends in my sorority who have shared equally awkward stories and supported me when family issues occurred. And then my boyfriend who, bless his soul, tries to look past all my flaws and still like me for some unknown reason. 

I'd be lying if I said this last semester went just as I planned, in fact everything I planned changed dramatically before school even started. There were moments I didn't think I'd bounce back from and things I didn't expect to work out, but every time I stopped taking something seriously it worked out. And that is what I learned this semester, nothing can't be fixed, never take anything too seriously, and if it is really suppose to work it always will.

While my beginning quote says to understand life we have to look at our past, I think it is important to end this post by saying "There's a reason your windshield is larger than your rear view mirror. It is more important to know where you are going than to look back at where you've been."